Latkes for me and Pumpkin Pie for Max

It's Hannukah, not a holiday I've actively celebrated since the girls were young and I decided that 8 days of gifts plus Christmas plus Maggie and Caitlin's birthdays all in the month of December made the "holiday's" a bit too indulgent even for someone who loves to play Santa Claus/Hanuklaus as I do.  I continued to make latkes from time to time however, and Tuesday when I realized it was the first night of Hannukah, I decided to celebrate as in the old days and make potato latkes. They were delicious! I also had some pumpkin pie filling left over from the week before and since I was in a mood to cook, I made a pumpkin pie for my neighbor Max.  Max is 80, a cousin of the woman who owns the house I live in. Surrounding houses are also owned by relatives of Max and most have been in the family for almost as long as he has.  Max does errands and "fix it" stuff around the neighborhood, but he is especially known for the herb garden he tends right next to my house.  Last month he planted basil and thyme for me, both of which I've used several times already.  (Pictures proving my expertise as a culinary artist and a laundress!)

I have been thinking a lot about "home" this past week, missing my girls, my friends, the life I've lived and wondering if my time here is being well spent. But then I remember that the life I've lived up to now has taken me on many roads, some even stranger than this, and while this road may feel more isolated and difficult because I am older and have more emotional ties, it is a challenge with the fundamental purpose of helping people, and a challenge that I want to continue to embrace for as long as I am needed and making a difference.  Besides, 27 months isn't so long. One day at a time, and remember to breathe in between!

Today is my baby girl Maggie's birthday.  24, beautiful, smart, and working hard trying to figure out her tomorrow.  I do question how my decisions have affected her future and I pray she understands how much I love her. My children are my heart, all 3 of them. It is clearly a day sprinkled with melancholy.  The sun is shining though, and the wind is perfect for hanging my clothes on the line to dry. Listening to Frank Sinatra croon old tunes, feeling a little lonely and thinking of all of you.